Who Jew?

Bernie Solomon: "What's your father's name, kid?" ('kid' thown in for added effect)

Deuteronomy: "Villanueva"

BS: "Your mudda's?"

Deut: "Madrid"

BS goes to sit down and fingers his little brown portfolio that he keeps under his arm.

(minutes later)

BS: "I knew it. YOU'RE JEWISH"

Deut: "Yes!"

And it turns out to be true. BS found my names in a list that he had toted around since his student days in Italy. This list, published by the Vatican, contains the names of Jewish Spaniards that were expelled from Spain during the age of Imperialism. Both of my family names turned up in this list entitled, "Tiene usted sangre judia?" or "Do you have Jewish blood?". The resounding answer is YES, I do. So now the important question, What had happened to my barmitzvah? Oy.