あたしは伊藤ミドリです。

Tanya Harding was a lunatic white trash bitch. Christy Yamaguchi had a wide enough face to serve sushi for eight. Nancy Kerrigan - why her? They all swore they were this robot bitch from Nagoya, Japan. The Voltron of women's figure skating herself - Midori Ito, you're my hero...You betta work that triple triple combo tranny mess gurl! Work!

You know your job is gay when...

- People greet you with the feminine version of your name (ie. Vickie, Victoria, Vaclempt)

- Your cafeteria doubles as a gay bar

- The number of straight men can be counted on your three little piggies

- The bathrooms have bars of soap, not liquid (don't drop it)

- Lunchtime gatherings are peppered with phrases such as "pump + dump", "work it out", + "fierce"

- Department meeting disruptions are quelled with a single "GURLS!"

- Sexual harassment is really just foreplay

- People get things done (and people too)

- "BOYZ" exists as a promo code

- The seats come with built in butt plugs

もしもし

The Art Director Under the Stairs

So, it's been a rough and tumble week (hence the lack of postings here), but I'm back to my furry self. Here are tranny Wicket's highlights of the week.

M - Began my new job as the art department at the NYC Opera. It's going to be quite a ride as well since, along with all the other art institutions in NYC, we're re-branding ourselves. I already feel re-branded in my new fur. I really do prefur fur. On my first day on the job, I asked my new boss if he was a "hot tranny mess". He opted for "hot mess" - left out the tranny. But I think Thailand is in his vacation plans this year, so...



A re-envisioning of Lincoln Center (where I work) by Diller Scofidio + Renfro. Will I see this happen?

T - I met Andy Warhol's 3rd cousin at a party thrown by Diva's friend, Marvy. Not to be confused with my friend Marvy, who supplied me with my new fur. Thanks Doc, I hope you're eating lots of BBQ in your new digs and blending in just fine with those cubist neighbors of yours.

Andy's cuz was nice and apparently a good illustrator. He had the word "Aun" tatooed on one wrist and "Aprendo" on the other. Taken from Goya, it translates to "I'm still learning". I thought it was cute.

W - Did I mention that at my new JOB I'm working under the stairs. Oh, and we're all gay. At least the boyz are. Quite interesting to have marketing meetings with a 100% gay male contingent. "Gurrls!"

Th - Never have I felt so comfortable leaving a building in my cape. It seems to fit the Opera. Thursday night meant going to a Dangerous Mathematicians party with Gwaala. The nudist she is, she saw an opportunity to get free lingerie and seized upon it. For just hanging out in a bra all evening at the boutique, she was able to score it fur free. Work Gwaala Gurl! It was cute.

F - Lunchtime with all the queers at Sapphire in Columbus circle. I am so not of the theater world, let alone the opera universe. I can see that this is going to be fun. I'm going to see if I can get a copy of this, though. I"ll ask my boss if I can expense it!



ttyl

thmhmtmtmt
(tranny hot mess hot mess tranny mess tranny mess tranny)

Pay Per View

Francis Bacon Styles

Double You-Double You-Double You-Dawt-Three Point Line-Dawt-Calm

My design site has been up for about a month now. Please visit! Aufedersein!

"Daddy!"

FOREWORD: I'm the Orange Ass

AFTERWORD:

"HOT MESS"

Click image for maximum messinesssss.

You're a super tranny from Transylvania.

You ah Über tranny.

Panda Cats

PDA

...

You Tube Bears it all

Bear Force One

But they're Dutch. Boys Boys Boys.

My fag hag got had happened!

File Under MILK

You never know where you're going to run into hot tranny messes. At the local bodega shouting "Buy me a GOOBAH!", behind the counter at Popeye's with a name tag that says Nemesis, or at church even (glory be to the tranny) - Hot tranny messes are rampant in NYC. It's great!!!

So, I wasn't surprised to run into Ms. Amanda Lepore's picture in the picture collection at the NYPL. Given that she could fall under so many headings ("HTM" [hot tranny mess], "Botox Side Effects", "Past Dick Owners" - just to name a few), you never know where you'd find her. But under "Milk"?

I realize that this image is an ad for milk, but... This makes me really wonder how they go ahead and classify the images in the picture collection. I mean, what if there was an image of a man and a sheep in holy matrimony. Would that fall under "animals" or "beastiality"? How about a straight person in chelsea? Is that "minority" or "closet case"? Or even a picture of Diva - does it go under "Peanut Butter" or "Beans"? I no know.

I'll have to ask the beary librarian next time. He sure had hairy knuckles. (Is that "Hair" or "Fisting" - so confusing!)

Not Funny

It's OK to be cunt.
It's OK to be fierce.
It's OK to be fey.
It's OK to be faabulouss.
It's OK to be gay.

Shaft Punk

HAHA! I wonder if they have mini-helmets for their other heads.

Speechless (remix)