My BIG Gay Weekend

1. So, I went to see the SEX movie Friday night. Lincoln Center, midnight show - Premiere night. In Artner's words, "Damn, is this Star Wars for girls?!". The movie theater was that packed. Packed with all kinds of Carrie's mind you, not strictly the types you'd expect to find in New JAP City. Yellow, brown, Puerto Rican, and Asian - all the Carrie wannbes came out en masse to witness this over-the-top, 2.25 hour long fashion show with a thread of a plot line thrown in to appease studio execs. I know that Im being harsh, and that SEX is as much about the fashion as it is about people, but really, the movie was alot of fluff, high drama, and not enough sex. It's interesting when you think about its status as a modern day fairy tale and the ways in which it re-affirms some age old myths and the ways in which it debunks others (the old spinster is not always a pejorative). If you're going to see, it, make sure to go durin the day. This is perhaps my only bit of advice. Seeing it at nite will make you ask Carrie, "Damn, are you dont with being so self absorbed?!. Oh Carrie...

Addendum to #1.

What is up with Carrie having a slave?



St. Louise from St. Louis might be from Missouri (Jennifer Hudson's character), but she sure did sound like a mammy from the antebellum South. And don't think that it's OK to have a southern mammy in the shape of a buxomy girl from the mid-west if just because you're paying them off with imported handbags from the new world.. Oh Sarah-Jessica...

Addendum to #1 (2).



Ladies, and I'm talking to you Ladies prancing around the theater thinking that it was a club... be sure to take it easy on the pre-movie cosmos. The movie was not in Imax, nor was it 3D. Puking in the theater is not a cute move. Not cute.

2. What is the gayest show on Broadway right now? I found myself asking this question thinking that I had found it in the middle of Legally Blonde, the musical on Saturday night.



For sure it is the Biggest, Gayest, show out there right now. Well, maybe not bigger than Gypsy. All the queens love that Lupone woman. Does that make me any less off a queen? Nahh...

Legally Blonde was the cutest musical I've seen EVER! While it took a couple of detours away from the movie, it remained pretty faithful. The translation was big fun to watch - and all the singing and dancing - Hilarious! What was more (or less, depending on how you look at it) hilarious was being busted with stolen cocktails from the Olive Garden across the street from the theater. Getting caught in the theater with stolen cocktails is not a cute move. Not cute. Oh me...

Cuz some of us want it given to them right now

You love her / you hate her / you love to hate her.. whatever. She's still making good pop music with collaborators nearly half her age. "Give It 2 Me" is one of my faves from the album and I can't wait to see the visuals in music video form. These shots from the video are not what I was thinking necessarily. Let's see if the magic of the Williams-Richie collabo can carry it's way onto the TRL circuit (Oh god TRL...)

This Bitch...

better WERK!

"You are working with the Falcon, and he's working for the Nazis..."

Furilthow?

So, when I was a little boy I used to run around with a lasso. I remember lassoing things, people and animals alike with such gay glee. Seeing their over-achieving, queer son running around trying to get the truth out of tormented hamsters and cats must've put my parents over the edge. At the very least it strengthened their denial of my impending shit-packerness. "My kid, a homo? Don't be ricockulous" Years and years later, I'm now swinging my manly lasso at more worthwhile prey (sorry pussy). Btw, when are they going to make Wonder Woman the movie? Seems like several stars have been approached (allegedly including body touchee Mariah Carey), but the script hasn't gotten off the ground. I'm saying though, if Iron Man can take off and land looking like a total queen on Mimosa Sunday, then we can get a real wonderous woman on the big screen. 100% - Bo-na-fide. I'll be at the premiere, lasso in tow. Don't say I didn't warn you's.

"Where is the falcon?"

buwahahahhahaha her ha

Portrait of the author as a young fag

So, I had numbers 5,4,3 and, of course, 1. Who didn't have a super soaker jizzer?

How concise

Scalpel...

"Just wait till you see the pool..."

Live fast, die young. Cream Soda.

Work Piggy!

Prance Bitch!

Translation

"Deuteronomy's Butt is Sticky and Sweet"

Read It BITCHES!

"I am Iron Man"

FACT: Robbie likes coke, heroin, and .357 Magnums.

FICTION: That fucking suit.

FAGGOTRY: He's so not my type, my RD Jr. killed that performance in Iron Man as the arrogant, yet brilliant, Tony Stark. The the salt and pepper these days make him extra hot. AND he's a jew...fuggetaboutit. I'd like some of his iron in my man.

The sound of pussy cats boiling

My name is Dita

him: what's your name?

me: (thinking) My name is Dita... I'll be your mistress tonite.

He still thinks it s my name... lol.

Where are they now?

Here's an oldie, but goodie- "Dress You Up".



I wonder where the legions of Madonna wanna-bes are today... are their titties still tied in a knot over the golden girl, or have they retired their lace.. depends... is the name of their pampers, for sure.

Oh, I think I've found one...

On the road again...

she just can't wait to get on the road again...

and this time i m going to see her in NYC. I haven t gotten my tickets for the "Sticky and Sweet tour", but I'm definitely going to get some. The last time (and only other time) i saw her I was in Japan and it was a major rush. I love this new album and cannot wait to see the golden girl (omg did I just invent Madge's new moniker?!? you heard it here first kids) perform her classics, "Like a (used) Virgin", "Justify my Love(ly Medicare)", and "Vogue (is better than W magazine on the potty)". It's going to be a blast of good ole' fashioned, botox, cat lady fun. I love Madonna!

My Daddy's Apartment

omg - I'm taking on the challenge of remodeling daddy's apartment (bio-daddy - not wrestlemania daddy). it's going to be a tough challenge, but I'm up for it. A friend sent me a picture of this shower curtain that he's thinking of getting. Should I work it out too? ooh.

Ninja Pureeze

So ninja - so comme - so good - so hoiny ...

http://www.deuteronomymadrid.blogpsot.com/

Click on this link and go to the land of milk and honey...

http://www.deuteronomymadrid.blogpsot.com/

WTF?!?!?!

That ain't no Facts, Fictions, nor Faggotries.

Now, Touch my body

Please Ninja

So, it was brought to my attention a while back from the Glitteress that NINJA is the place to be for a little drama a flair in your sush/sash combo. I have yet to go, but I'm definitely intrigued.

Even more recently, an opera mate of mine(s) tipped me off on some secret language that they use at the restaurant. Apparently when they want to say "Chow Chow" as they would in Japanese to say "You're mistaken", they opt for the more urban "Ninja Please". That said, now I HAVE to go!

The 2 for 1:

Remember this classic from the Chris Rock show? Ninja please...

Can't Hardly Wait

Happy Mother's Day

... in the bush.

So I went dancing at Splash this evening. It was totally impromptu. I've been feeling the need to shaky my butt from time to time recently. This time I just hopped in to take a pee and found myself at a party with The Lady Bunny on the 1's and 2's.



It was a total disco affair and too much fun!!! I danced my ass off for over 2 hours. Lots of classics (but of course), one of my favorites being "Push Push in the Bush" - or whatever the song is titled. I spun, twirled, stomped and shouted. Oh shoot - it was like Black PANDA had gone disco queen. I also turned it out to "Bad Gurrl" with some bad chocolate queen hottie. Yes, call the herz, cuz it's murder out here.

Are sunday tea parties my new thing? go my od. Is it like THAT?!

OK, so I know I'm gay, but...

This screen grab does not reflect the views or opinions of your faggy author. interestingly enough, it s the first link on google with "theater fag" as the seach.

am I this (kind of) gay?

Last night I hung out with some work folks from the opera. The usual fare - post-office drinks, gallavanting, and show tunes. show tunes? what are those
? lol.

since arriving at the opera i have become more and more aware of the theater fag species of fagdom. or, to put it more succinctly, i have become aware of the ways in which i'm not part of this brand of queer. sure, i love madge. siriano is a hootin' tranny. pink is my favoritest color of all time. but when it comes to crowding around a bar and singing classics of musical theater, well... i just fall off. not that im averse to it in any way. i guess i just grew up with different interests. like lightsabers and daddys.

If show tunes are your thing, go check out Marie's Crisis. Sing your heart out and tell them the opera sent ya...

My favoritest thing ever

omg i cannot wait for the tour!!!

Artner, where art thou?

So I know this little chinese girl - such a fucking fag hag. She loves some queer. She pointed me to this unforseen 6th episode of Planet Unicorn a long time ago, but since I'm too busy deuteronomying it up at the opera, i haven t had a moment to blahg about it. do watch it, though. please. it s a for sure crowd pleaser. the reindeer are HOT HOT HOT too. omg.

"Are these your whores? Is this your slut?"

No, apparently it's just the House if Siriano. One's 15 minutes of fame has never felt so long... Here luk was sis?

Madonna Madonna Madonna

I love HARD CANDY, the new Madonna album- surprise surprise. "Give It To Me" is one of my faves on the album. It will be the second single and the second video. Here's a little clip of Madge cleaning up on the set. Go Madge - work it out...

And not the 2 for 1:

Click here to watch Madonna appeal to the young, black demo on BET. Go Madge a maima - serve!

Hulkmania parallel universes || II

omg - so why did i sleep with hulk hogan...?



well, not really, but might as well have. I mean, this guy had kids, a 'tude, and a stache. conveniencing daddy had never been so much fun.. nor such a nightmare.

him: put it on daddy...
me: mm hmmm

and it s not that it was so bad (not to be confused with being fab, either), but his rough edges weren t a match for my smooth behind. what can I say, some things are better left to fantasy. Or perhaps I just didn't bed the right daddy, daddy...

funny how artner and I are paralleling in our hulkasex. I mean, she dreamt about it and I fucking had it. weird? sometimes she does things that only I can dream of, though. Like that golf ball trick. weirder? the parallel phenomenons abound across the states. what will happen next? will I wind up in fresh dialogue(s) with some hot euro trash guy up my butt (some of artner's dreams) oh shoot. prolly not. one things for sure, however, with my record, the older the dialogue, the fresher my butt looks.

hulkamania - raw raw raw

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