...

So... I'm cute, right? I thought I was. I get told I am. So what's up with me gettin' no love. Buss what had happened.

Friday, February 8th

6:45 PM

I gathered with a bunch of friends and congratulated DLS on being promoted to assistant Vice President. Clearly DLS is set on renaming her company "Oppenheimer Funds of the Saints". Like 35% of my friends, Ms. Thing is very ambitious. After throwing one down, gossiping about that girl Christian and her skills on Project Runway, and modeling my very cool look of "Hobo Chic", I decide its time to hit the streets and find a daddy.


Here's a map of my pathetic evening with a detailed description of the events to follow.



Start (Union Square) / 9ish

"Where the fuck am I going", I think to myself. Seeing as though I had not eaten before the celebratory toast, I needed to eat. I wandered Union Square with plans to meet up with The Glitteress for dinner. Ultimately, she had to go feed her dog and left me hungry on the streets. After much deliberation, I decide that I'm going to go to have some Japanese by myself in the East Village.

9:30

Alot of people with people waiting to eat with other people. Most of these people are Asian. I'm on St. Mark's trying to figure out where I'm going to eat solo. Not wanting to be by myself in Izakayas packed with pandas out the wazoo, I head west and think I'll grab something on the way to Christopher Street, where the bears are.

Hot Dogs / 9:50

2 franks w/ sauerkraut and mus-dud, large papaya = $3.50. The Filipino guys running the joint must be cleaning up.

Bears / 10:20

From panda town to bearville and ain't a damn thing changed. I'm on Christopher Street contemplating entering either Ty's or The Hangar. Both seem to be roaring with activity, but I don't seem to be in the mood to be in a bar by myself. It's become so trite. Nor do I feel like cranking up the notch and being "extra" in an attempt to call attention to myself with the hopes of meeting Daddy Right.

I'm thinking about my friends (or lack there of) and wondering how my situation has really changed since being abroad on my own. When I was there I always had to make new friends. I was constantly doing things by myself. Here in NY I imagined that that would be different. But alas, I still feel alone.


Twitterin' from the streets.

I'm beginning to feel like this guy

Postcards / Porn 10:30


Pass by a magazine store with all of those NY tschochkes for sale. Since I wasn't that far from Christopher Street at that point, I thought that I'd be able to find the latest copy of Euro Bear Magazine. Unfortunately, they didn't have it. Wound up Buying some postcards to send to some folks in Japan. ET phone home.



One purchase.

Subway / 10:45

Thinking to myself I'm going to give it another shot and go for a drink at GYM in Chelsea. There will be lots of furry guys there, I think. At the very least I can have a cocktail and relax before I have haul myself back to the B-Ron-X.

10:55 / Chelsea

Skip into Barracuda to see who might be in there. It seemed to be a gnome party. Didn't see any signs outside. Don't need the gnomes tonight, I think. Piss - keep it moving.

After Barracuda, I decide to take a peek in The View... this was on the monitors there



lol

11:00 / GYM / Pinkberry

The last stop / try of the night. As I had Expected, GYM was packed with alot of clunky bears, furry bears, sluggish bears, virile bears, bespeckled bears, smelly bears. The forest seemed packed.

Cosmo = $7.50. Ugh. The lame vodka in the drink must be why my head hurts right now. I keep on swearing to myself that I am going to stop with the vodka, but I never seem to learn my lesson.

GYM winds up being upsetting. More people. More friends. More Cameraderie. More me alone.



And now a word from our sponsor.



OK - so I'm watching LOST, and I see this ad for the New KY product, I N T R I G U E. LUBRICATION COMMERCIALS ON PRIME TIME TV?! Why not, right? But check out the packaging re-haul of this "personal lubricant". Fancy Schman-cy. Interesting how KY corporation is making it's way into more mainstream media / advertising and creating an image that is less, oh, I don't know, skanky, and more metallic purple.

I got my free sample for a cute twink that was part of the KY crew that entered GYM.

Twink 1 to Twink 2: Smells like a straight bar!

Me: lol

Those twinks - gotta hand it to them.

Got my lube - drunk my vodka - time for ... Pinkberry? Why not attempt to drown my sorrow in yogurt.

11:43 / Crosstown Bus (mmm cutie driver - insatiable)

12: 00 BxM7



All in all , a pretty lame night. Felt friendless. Maybe I just didn't give it my all. I for sure didn't. But, I have to say who wants to give it their all all the time all by themself?