"I axed who did your hair and you tell me,

'Diane made it.' " ~ Butter

アイタリクス

こんにちわ！あたしの名前はユコウプロパガンダです。グラフィクデザインがあたしの仕事だ。ピンク好き。。パプルも好きだよ。アイタリクスが Deuteronomy Madrid のデザインのブランドでもあたしもデザインを作れています。いつか見て植えない？では、楽しみしゆうよ！ラララ。。。

Gifts From Middle Earth

When Artner is not shopping online for designer home furnishings for her new pussy pad in CO, she can be found working it out in craft shops in Middle Earth. These were two trinkets were snagged for me recently. Since my Queer Cape is already emblazoned with a V (no I didn't make gay Varsity... I'm the coach bitch), Artner gave me a tiny D. D is for Dick. And Deuteronomy. She also got me a fruit basket. If I need to explain that one, well then you just haven't been reading. Clever, that Artner. I guess that's why she spends her days thinking about how to get people to buy things in MIddle Earth.

I Doubt It

Sorry

Yes, I'm Filipino. Yes, I'm gay. No, I'm not like Reynaldo.
.
.
.
.
Though, I have been known to wear a cape.

"Pink is the Navy Blue of India" ~ Diana Vreeland

I just really like that quote.

Cherish Dat Ass

Me and two bathing beauties on the beach in Punta Cana. My moves were inspired by the blonde one, of course.
Photos : Stone Ritts

Smackin' Dat Ass

Recently, at The Hangar

Lady Esquire: Deuteronomy, I don't do that.

Deuteronomy: Why not?

LE: It's not my style. Besides, he no know how to move. Look at that! Is that supposed to be sexy?

D: I suppose, but look at DAT ASS! I'M going to top, errr, i mean tip, him.



LE: His face is not fresh.

D: I see your point. But THAT ASS!

[Some black queens heard ki-ki-ing post-tipping of the go-go boy]

Beary Black Queen: Oooh.. (something something) cocoa butter....
(said to Beary Black Queen 2)

D: OMG, I think he said something about the dancer's skin! Is it scaley? OMG...

(adressing BBQ) OMG did I just hear you say that his skin was harshness?

B.B.Q.: OOH NO! It's as creamy as cocoa butter. That child must have put on...

(Deuteronomy removes a dollar from his wallet)

some Queen Helene Guurl.... you need to ...

D: (addressing LE) Gimme change for a dollar.

LE: You crazy!

D: I wanna put quarters into that slot.

L.E. You CRAZAY!

BBQ: ..... go 'head and give it a try.

Deuteronomy slithers over to the go-go station and smacks dat ass (double handed).



He slithers back to his throne next to Lady Esquire.

D to BBQ: OMG you were soo right

BBR: Q U E E N

D: F U C K I N G

BBR and D (in unison): H E LE N E

(faggy hi-five)x(snaps)

D to LE: You need to try that out! You know, if it's a money thing...

LE: You crazy.

D: Maybe, but I'm moisturized.

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Oh, had you not known about Ms. Britney Houston. This girl is off the meter. Look at dem moves! Bitch better WORK! This video is so much better than the original. Please don't overdose on Lip Gloss Brit-Hue! Keep It Pappin'!

Tempermental/Cheez/Mouse/Pop

Last Sunday I attended a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese for Lana. She's Four.

While a part of me was reluctant to go (kids, germs, work to do, blah-blah-belch), the inner child threw himself on the floor got his way. I really was hoping for a spectacle of sorts, but I realized very early into the thing that I had to provide the spectacle myself. Why does it always have to be that way?


Luckily they have Chuck E TV. Don't you think this image is kinda creepy? Like I'm being haunted by a weird college mascot? Either that or some chicken head I went to high school with... OH!

Doubily Lukily the kids that I hung out with were adorable. The kid with the curls to my left is Cheez-It. Not his real name, btw.

Cheez-It posing with the birthday girl herself, Lana Marie. 1/2 + 1/2 = 1 LOVE. Don't Lana and Cheez-It look soo adorably collegiate?

Lana is a budding painter and actress. This is a side by side comparison of Lana's work and that of the famous artist, Cy Twombly. Not too shabby-chic that Lana, wouldn t you say?

Like most tempermental artists, she doen't like the her spotlight to be taken away. Mouse or no mouse.

Luckily, the mouse seemed to be of the pink variety.

All in all, not a bad jaunt to the local Chuck E Cheezy. Had some pizza, did the hokey pokey, and sucked on a nice cold one. Maybe I should take my name off the list at The Dugout and have my 21st bday here...hmm...

¿Crees en la vida después del amor?

Thanks to the professor for cher-ing... brew hahaha wuh huh wuh.

Lasts List Lowdown

The last purge of the year.

A list of "Lasts" for 2007

Last Meal: Hot Pot in Flushing Queens
Last Expense: New glasses for Diva
Last Train: The 3 to 116th
Last Song: "Up In Here" by DMX
Last Excusion: Punta Cana, DR
Last Wake Up: 10:30 AM
Last Artwork: PANDA Call for entries
Last Telephone call: Diva (with 5 secs to go 'fore the 2008)
Last Email Received: Facebook telling me I've been Super Poked
Last sound heard: The crunching of doritos in my mouth
Last Dream: Being in Japan talking about ikebana.
Last Outfit: Cape on cape on cape crime
Last Fantasy: Living in Europe
Last smell: Narciso Rodriguez for him (sex in a bottle)

...EM SOME SI_K KING GAY

For the record: Deuteronomy: 173 | Diva: 171 | Artner: 141
What, bitches?!

Pink Lady ・ ピンク・レディー

I knew I was getting better at Japanese when I could sing a couple of lines from a Pink Lady song. Since everyone in Japan knows this duo and their songs (a usual pick at any karaoke outing), my lyrical skills proved to be a good ice breaker when miming and voguing just weren't enough breach the communication gap. After teaching in the countryside and moving to the city I learned that Pink Lady wasn't just MY obsession, but also the idols of the gay Japanese community at large. Uh Duh! Loved for their pop, uppity ditties and even more for their ricockulous choreography, Mie and Kei are held close to the hearts of many fags worldwide.

These are three of my favorite Pinku Reidei songs. ゲイポワー！


"Carmen" [カルマン] English lyrics here.
Ki ito Ki ito suki na sase masu = I'll surely surely make you love me
Be sure to use that one at the bar faggots.



"UFO" No Japanese?
Chikyuu u no otoko ni akita tokoro yo = I'm bored of earth men
OK sistas!


"Monster" [モンスター] Find me the words online?

Dykeatries + Trans"jen"deries 2

(Play video for full effect)

Like sister like brother

Cásate conmigo Señor García Pérez. Por Favor.

Hey papi.

If you haven't seen Cachorro, or, as it is known in English, Bear Cub, you may want to if you are into films about hairy gay men and surrogate parenthood. Charming, really. You may also want to see it if you're into cute Spanish daddies like José Luis García Pérez (look up). I know he's straight and all, but why do I find myself combining our names and writing it repeatedly like a boy-crazy post-pubescent girl? (<--I hate this widow by the way).

Señor Deuteronomy Madrid García Pérez
Señor Deuteronomy Madrid García Pérez
Señor Deuteronomy Madrid García Pérez
Señor Deuteronomy Madrid García Pérez
Señor Deuteronomy Madrid García Pérez . . .

...

Outtake

See original photo shoot here.

"High School Musical" LIVE

It all started as a casual nite on the town. On the uptown.

The Professor and I decided to catch up over some Soul Food. Given the two options she knew well, I decided to try "Billie's Black" since it sounded less "wham-bam-you need some jam for that corn bread, honey?" and more like a place where we could chill and re-cap the days of our lives (the real shit because our lives are way more epic than any soap could ever be).

So there we were listening ghetto tales being recounted on Kiss FM and savoring our fried seafood. For the record, I had the fried catfish, collard greens and mac-n-cheese, while the scholar feasted on crab cakes and the mac... we shared the garlic mash. MMM. Somewhere between my fourth bite of my catfish and my sudden hankering for a "ta-ta-tini", a book labeled "Karaoke with Wes Black" was delivered our table. $CHA CHING$ JACKPOT! Soul Karaoke in Harlem World, NYC. What What!!! Omg.. What a dream come true.

A seasoned Kara-okay-er from my days of living the mountains of Japan, I had been dreaming of the day when I would be in a black setting swooning and crooning my attempts at R-n-B. What I never guessed (foolishly so) is that the event would turn out to be not only a black thing, but a gay thing as well. Yes, the homo thugs were in the house. As well was an older fag-cum-oddity who seemed to rock Mardi Gras beads like it was Fat Tuesday in New Orleans. Also along for the ride were some soulful sisters with their booties tucked in the back, but their voices upfront for all to hear. And then there was Ray Charles. Honestly, this guy summoned the great one's spirit.. freakishly so.

And now for the highlights:

Homo Thug 1: "Heartbreak Hotel" (be sure to whisper those words for the added whitney effect), "Unbreak My Heart", "Say My Name", and some others that I don't remember. This guy definitely stole the show with his "little body and big package". I'm talking about his voice, of course.

Homo thug 1 + 2 did a rendition of "I Will Always Love You" (Whitney from "The Bodyguard" soundtrack). Yes, they did. They concluded their performance with "That was good, I liked that." and a boy on boy hug. Homos in hood. Gotta love it.

Mardi Gras did an un"believe"able double whammy of "Believe in Yourself" form The WIz (!!!) followed immediately by Cher's "Believe". I think I can still here his tone deaf voice ringing out "in love in love in love in love" on that one. I also would like to mention that this dude had to glance back at the lyrics for The Wiz, but was totally fine with the Cher. I know, Cher's diddy is a piece of cake compared to that heartfelt classic of melodious encouragement. Not to mention the fag anthem gets more play in boyland down (Christopher Street), somewhere that I think Mardi might be found when he's not adjusting his specs on 119th street.

Oh, and there was also "The boy is mine(s)" performance by Homo Thug and Mardi Gras. Seriously, if I had captured this on video I might be in the running for the Hugo Boss Prize for Contemporary Art as it weaved together so many issues of sexuality, race, pop culture, and the marginalized. A hot mess. (mental note: need new digital camera).

The Scholar and I performed four songs in total.


"Bag Lady" by Erykah Badu
Now if we did more booty grinding on that stage to that song, we might have just gotten some free cheesecake. I'm talkin' to my Gucci bag lady. Four Stars (I'm judging this).


"Sweet Thing" by Chaka Kahn
I'm not sure about the Prof., but I was doing the Mary J. Blige version of this classic. We harmonized and soul sistered to this track. After singing we came up with our new group name, "High School Musical". Not to be confused with the move y'all; merely a reference to our track selection as it proved to be the soundtrack of our adolescent pasts. I just want to satisfy ya, cuz you're not mine and I can't deny it. Four stars.


"All Around the World" by Lisa Stansfield
Could a white woman have ever sounded so black. Could a fag and a black gurl ever have sounded so good? We were joined on this track by MissFitt. With her addition, H.S. Musical became more firece and racially diverse. I'll never give up looking for my baby. Four Stars.


"Hold On" by En Vogue
To close out our night with Wes and the crew, we did the song that put those four sisters known as En Vogue on the map. Sure it was hard to hit those notes at the beginning of the song, but that did not stop our new legion of fans from getting up and miming the the dance moves from the low-budge video. Give him love everyday, remember he needs space. Be patient and he'll give his heart to you. Four Stars.

With that H.S. musical bid Sayonara, Adieu, and Asa Lama Lakim to Billie's Black. But we will be back. So you hold on to your love, you bag lady sweet things! We been around the world, and we'll be back for more.... Love, H.S. Musical

Dykeatries + Trans"jen"deries

And this chick just got married.


This "chick" is mad boy. Don't let the cooch fool you.